Monday, December 6, 2010

the Generation, the fear of happiness because it's selfish

So a couple of weeks ago, I was mugged in Nagtahan. I had to replenish my bag of... everything. Yes, especially the kikay kit. I know you guys are rolling your eyes at the mere sound of "KIKAY KIT". Man, this girl's freaking maarte.

I've been spending the last weeks replenishing and in the process, loving myself. Yes, its so totally gay, loving myself. But I've been eating fruits everyday. The other night I ate tomatoes and lettuce. I drink tons of water, I moisturize moisturize moisturize, I no longer don eyeliner, I dress up everyday, I get 8 hours of sleep, I do fake-yoga (stretch stretch stretch), I bought Php?,000 of me stuff.

Until a while ago, I spent 200 pesos on a pedicure. My feet look beautiful now, my toes are painted holiday red.

BUT 200 PESOS? This is how a yuppy overindulge.

What I'm actually thinking is: Am I being selfish?

I've been bombarded with quotable psychological facts the past days. Desire is the flaw of nature. Desire is the reason why men suffer. Freud states that suffering is caused by desire oppressed because of cultural norms.

Then the big Freudan announcement: Happiness is man's goal in life.

Then I there's this journalist from Time Magazine, Joel Stein, who I absolutely adore, and he wrote about this generations Narcissism Epidemic. Let me quote (as he quoted from another author) "We are living in an age of Individualism, a radical philosophical shift that began with Freud ".

It speaks about personal branding and how decades ago such concept is unthinkable.

Is our generations selfish? As humankind, is it selfish to be happy? AM I SELFISH FOR SPENDING 200 PESOS ON HOLIDAY RED TOE NAILS WHEN KULIGLIG DRIVERS ARE LOSING THEIR LIVELIHOOD? (In my defense, I didnt know it would be 200 pesos. I thought it would be 130 pesos at the most. And it was just 170 pesos. But then I tipped 20 pesos. Why am I defending myself? Im not nga guilty diba?)

And why am I writing this?

Literary sessions with TWG almost always frown upon PERSONAL pieces. Personal poems. Anything that is just too much about yourself. (Of course everything you write will have you in it, otherwise, why write. Gawd I disclaim too much. I need to gain dignity.) When you write something that is just for you it's mental masturbation. ESPECIALLY WHEN ITS NOT INTERESTING TO ANYBODY ELSE BUT YOU.. SUCH AS.... YOURSELF!

That's why when I first read Joel Stein, my initial thought was "Why the hell did Time let an egoist write in a such a serious subscription?"

But I liked reading him anyway.

I'm writing because I realized that sometimes, I should stop being afraid of Narcissism. So what if you guys dont care about me being mugged, my kit, Joel Stein, or TWG. Or of my 200 pesos pedicure.

Maybe someone will read this long entry anyway and enjoy it. If not, well, atleast I cleared my head. And it's not selfish to clear my head, is it?

Thursday, November 25, 2010


Remember when I kept on hair cutting back then? How about when I keep on cutting my hair now?

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Dear Boss, just as you prophecized.

@Aeya, I'm sorry I reproduce your ideas.


Oooh. Beach curls was.


I have not written anything in a long long time. Here's something haunting. It's the sequel to a the a poem I wrote 6 months before this one, "Doesn't". Eph remembers it.

Macci Macaranas

the most despicable thing about you
the former outlaw
is your touch

how it makes me shiver all over
how it bruises

i was in your pocket
curled up
with your bullets
and your heavy calloused hands
nicotine staining your nails

touched skin
rubbing on the denim
my heart pumping so hard
it would shatter my ribs

Sunday, October 31, 2010

baby damaso

All that Carlos Celdran craze x halloween x cute led me to this:


Monday, October 25, 2010


If you're too scared to let the world know you (which I am), don't blog (which i wont follow).

Good writing is always soulful. Even if you're not talking about yourself, good writing is personal. It's flushing out your inside by stringing words together to form a thought. Everything matters. Where a sentence ends, the tenses, the use of this word instead of another.

Wala lang.

It's hard to blog when you don't want the world to know what you are.

Uuuuyyy! Emo! (I'm at coffeebean gh waiting for my dad to pick me up.)

Blogged within 3 minutes of watching the trailer

As much as I want to remain poised and classy and refined (my nails deserve a proper lady as its proprietor), FAKSHET!!! WOOOH:

Naman naman naman!

Saturday, October 23, 2010

growing up step 1

Im about to start my journey at grownup-ship by starting to eat veggies.

But right now, I'm in the almost endless phase where I'm MUSTERING COURAGE TO FACE THE WRATH OF GULAY. I think though, I've been in this phase for half a decade now.

I remember going to Wendy's / BK and eating a salad with big coke at hand. It was a fun(ny) experience, but I dont think I gained anything from that.

Veggies still make me quiver and cringe.

Althouuuugghhh, recently Ive learned to eat mushrooms. Now I actually crave them every once in a while. Reg points out that mushrooms are not veggies, they arent flowers or leaves, ( and THEY ARE NOT ROOTS, MACCI). Mushrooms are fungi. (WOW! FUNGI!? That is soooo iba!)

Poor mushrooms dont have a group they can belong in (aside from maybe tofu. They can be friends.) They taste meaty, and veggie-y, but they are still fungi. Not veggies.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

What did I do today?

I definitely didnt clean my room. Now my brain's in chaos. Ugh.

Monday, October 11, 2010

I very totally look like a mouse


Saturday, October 9, 2010


I am very proud of myself.

But this gloomy sunday afternoon, I'm not toooo proud.

I actually took my mom's advice at heart and am staying in bed. Just waiting for time to consume me and waiting for the next week of constant panicking. But right now, I'm staying here and the only sound I hear is from the broken hand-me-down electric fan and the birds chirping and dogs barking and fingers typing.


there's no sun this sunday

Its a very gloomy Sunday noon. I called my mom to tell her I want to go to GH for dinner and ask her what time they're coming home. She said we'll see and advised me to stay in bed and sleep. Possibly because she's tired of the constant energy. (True, Im a ball of energy. Everyone, myself included, wonder where I get this from. A tablet of Centrum can't possibly fuel me all day. And a 90-pounder cant possibly reek energy enough for two people.)

So as I was saying, its a gloomy Sunday noon and I finally found time to..... dum dum dum dum... BLOG. Imsuchafreakinteenager!

Since I havent been blogging properly for a month now, I'm thinking maybe people have decided that this blog is stagnant and deleted me from their bookmark bars. That is a very sad thought :(, but just as R and I believe (who's a lucky dude for having been mentioned twice this month already), there's this magic in solitude.

POINT: Id like to think no one's reading my beloved blogspot right now because otherwise, Id be too conscious to say anything.

Alright, alright, Im starting a new post now because this one just sounds so boring.

Monday, October 4, 2010

to blog or not to blog

I actually like this photo.

Monday, September 27, 2010

because i do not have anything valuable to share with you guys

R gave me this notepad booklet thing called Pass-along Promises : Inspiration for Women. It's so freaking gay, but I actually read it. o_O

Im actually home early tonight! And, for some reason, I did not hate the MRT tonight.

And on my way home, I enumerated in my head my most common mannerisms.

1. I pout a lot. Like really pout. Like NGUSO pout. Its not pretty, but thats how I deal with stress.
2. I stretch my shoulders.
3. I make fish sounds.
4. When I work in the office and Im getting restless, I stretch my legs while typing.
5. I keep on checking my nails for chipped polish.
6. I bite my lips. This is actually from my childhood days of making pacute. But now that I'm naturally pacute, I do it ALL THE TIME. Because I'm pacute ALL THE TIME.
7. I do the blowfish cheeks. And lip-pursing.
8. I constantly check my phone. Its because I am a filipino.


Sunday, September 12, 2010


When you drink too much, the only way to sleep and be safe from vying cameras is:

Taken approximately a year ago.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

I am about to say something that will hurt my dad so much.

70s music rocks better than 80s. I am so sorry Madonna.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Oh and I've seen some photos from last night, everyone looked like hell took over them.. BUT THEY'RE SO HAPPY ABOUT IT! 40 PEOPLE?



I want Jelly Yogurt.


Aside from having the worst penmanship, I also have the worst signature. People actually laugh at it!

thank you loves

thank you sa lahat ng pumunta kagabi sa birthday namin ni pabs! and sa mga tumulong!


Thursday, September 2, 2010

to world

Hello boys and girls!

Im blogging, because it turns out, the things I write are being read! It's just very nice to be read, it fulfills the physiological need to belong, and fulfills good ol' basic narcism.

1. It's my first time to be home early on a work day, hooray for me! Ahhh.. so this is what they call rest.

2. I want to say thank you to the whole lot of people who threw their happybirthdays at me this Wednesday. I feel like such a freaking celebrity. DON'T TAKE THE GREETINGS BACK EVEN IF I SAID THAT! IN RETURN, IM NOT ASKING FOR GIFTS. FAIR?

3. It dawned on me that friendship, relationships, even business, IS ALL ABOUT GEOGRAPHY. Yep, it's all about location, location, location. The closer you reside to someone, the closer you are BOUND to be. "Bound" but not "required". Geography is like the attraction, but Chemistry is the real thing.

4. It's official I have a crush on Ashton Kutcher. Possibly because I see him shirtless a bit too much (and he's just so skinny-perfect.)

5. Me and the Pabby are giving away free shots at my house on Saturday, as long as you don't expect dinner, be there!

Wednesday, September 1, 2010


The bet thing about birthdays is couples, dozens, even hundreds of people spend 5 seconds of their day reminding you that you're existence is being acknowledged.

Thank you crowd!

Tuesday, August 24, 2010



It's been past 24 hours and people are over the drama, I dont know why the hostage-incident hurts. Seriously.
I mean, think about it, a lot of other people are dying everyday. People are bombed in Afghanistan. How come it's not a big deal? Because it happens all the time and hostaging tourists only happens once in a while?

Morale is low.

Maybe we're just all really shocked because of the rarity. It's a classic example of a "who would've thought" event. We're affected because we can't stand the thought that danger may be lurking anywhere, and unlike Afghanistan, we won't expect it.

Monday, August 23, 2010

that bus

Before I hear what everyone has to say, I want to publish what I think.

Do you remember the 41 people dying last week because of the bus that tumbled down Baguio, and the universe saying its the driver's fault because he already knew that the breaks are jammed but he proceeded driving?

Why do we even expect so much from this man?

I feel sorry for the SWAT team. Everyone's mad at them for failing. Everyone's blaming them, it almost feels like it's their fault and not the hostage taker.

It's so weird how every bad action leads to a greater amount of bad action. We advertisers propose the wonders of luxury, someone becomes greedy, this policeman who is obviously dedicated to his job loses it, he hostages the tourists, HongKong-Philippines relationship is ruined, OFWs who sustains their family risks losing their job of something they have no connection of doing.

My point is, just like every point ive failed to make in past blog entries, it is never anyone's fault completely.

Yes, the police sucked, no training, it's the government's fault. Lagi nalang its the government's fault, it must be the people's. Wala man lang bang tao na gagawa ng tama? (?)


But then my sister made me realize, how dare Mendoza take the lives of all those people? What makes him think these other people doesnt have lives of their own.

And why is this so hard for everyone?

Saturday, August 21, 2010


1. groceries
2. clean my closet
3. paint my nails
4. prepare bc

Friday, August 20, 2010

Now what

Hello blogosphere! (That word is so 1999!) Hyde is getting fat, and my love for him is diminishing.

Oh and I have to say, I LOVE WORK CLOTHES! They just fit me very well! Who would've known barely above the knee skirts would look good on me. If you have nothing to do on a week night and you're in Makati, treat me out please. My life lacks relevant amount of human conversation.

I watched Expendables with the boys last night (the boys being Issa, Aeya, Karl and R) and I soooo didnt get it. Elements: Climatic macho-drama lines thrown everywhere, blood, and famous people I dont know. Muscles, the sort that guys like and girls fear. The men's faces are so oily, and Stalone's eyebrow is so arched it looks tranny.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

3am. Im awake. Ugh.


I still love Hyde. Love love love. Boyfriend.

Life is love work and love Hyde.


Wednesday, August 18, 2010



Look! She's beautiful!!
I've always loved her.

Saturday, August 14, 2010


So since I officially IN ACTUALITY TOTALY UNEXPECTEDLY love the 70s show...

(stop reading: Spoiler Alert!)

I LOVE STEVEN AND DONNA. I LOVE STEVEN. He just made me realize how hot I am for sideburns. I've always thought sideburns were something. But I concluded that it's all because of the goatee and how both are interrelated.

ANYWAY.. because love has consumed me. Here:

Respectively: The Disco which is Steven-sideburn's first dance where he told Donna he wanted to kiss her. The time he made a move on Donna by rubbing her knees. At the porch where Eric might be gay, and Donna shouldn't worry because Steven isn't.

I'm not crazy for Donna, but Steven is love. Is love, love, love I tell you!


Btw, low-resolutions care of my pathetic attempts at capturing the moment using my dependable MOBILE PHONE.

I LIKE THe That 70s show

When I grow up, my son will call his father Sir, and myself Ma'am.. Just like the 70s show.

And yes, I've always wanted to say I love the That 70s Show... But never had the chance to. (Since, well, I've never watched an episode, ever.) It's just too me for me not too watch. An earlier era, comedy series, petty slice-of-life circumstances.

Buuut.. I finally bought the box. The Box. The Box. 8 seasons!

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

I'm stuck in bed, my body hurts! Every pressure point in the body (such as the flesh between the thumb and the index finger, my shoulders, my feet) is aching.

Insomnia is still the worst. I've been tired and stressed for 36 hours, but I've yet to experience peaceful sleep. Sigh. Ganto nalang ba lagi?

All I do is I keep on refreshing Facebook and yahoomail.

Btw, Megan Fox is a tramp, but she's the most beautiful tramp ever.

Monday, August 9, 2010

horror horror

KC Concepcion's song, the one that keeps on playing on every cab radio at noon, the one that goes "now it's not like the movies at all..." IS THE WORST SONG EVER. AND EVERYONE WHO'S GOT EARS KNOWS IT.

I don't know why no one's complained about it yet. The music is reminiscence of every 80s song that was a flop in its period. And the lyrics is horror. It's 100% sappy and 100% tacky.


Sunday, August 8, 2010

Why the world is more fashion obsessed now than ever

It's not because the world has become shallow.

It's because women today make more money than ever. Women are now working not just for pocket money, but to actually sustain themselves!

2. Are men still excited about women when breasts and asses are readily available everywhere?

Photos and the actual thing.

It's me comparing the present and past all over again. But really, doesn't it make you wonder?

nail talk

currently: watching war movies (hurtlocker) while (failing at) doing my nails
manly me versus lady me.

After two weeks bubblegum-matrona nails, I am no longer confident without nail polish. Sadly I'm not gifted with steady hands. Sigh naked nails.

I have no idea why I'm watching this actually. It's not contributing to my well being and bombs are everywhere.

to whom it may concern

What I totally can't understand are the people who can't let go of highschool... especially when they claim that its the best 4 years of their life.

This is when its most appropriate to say GET A LIFE!!!!!!

Saturday, August 7, 2010

how unshallow i am

I am reading Julie Hecht's "The Unprofessionals".

I don't know why people write reviews of the book they've read or is currently reading... but I'm doing that. It just feels too normal not to do.

The Unprofessionals is a "tragic comedy". It's very comic, to be honest. It's too cougar cynical to be actually haha funny (which my sister says is because comic = household domain funny. Ano, Jul?). It actually reminds me of "The Flip Reader", only this is more narrative. And it injects too much flashbacks that I you can't really concentrate on the storyline.

Or maybe this is just me complaining because my mind's too sabaw to read. Especially since I have not read general fiction for a long time (2/3 months?).

But more importantly, I got this from BOOKSALE at 75 pesos. YES! I forgot that I can get books for less than a hundred and there's no excuse for failing to cultivate the mind.

BOOKSALE's amazing. It's almost a small (limited, yes) library but you can actually own the books for a fraction of a fraction of the actual prize. May gadz! I even saw "The Invention of Everything Else" which I read reviews about (somewhere). And a whole lot of chic lit.

I chose The Unprofessionals over the hoards of sappily titled books in the store is that it's not too heavy and it's not pang-bobo light. It's an easy read without being too elementary.


Remember short-haired Macci?

I look like a man, man.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

I've been stuck at home for 48 hours.

Im so bored I may vomit.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

The Neil


I love Sedaka's Breaking Up Is Hard To Do. Oooooh smile you babies!

when planets collide

lesson of the month:
never renege on a pinky promise, as failing to comply with the pinky promise, especially with the DOUBLE pink promise, is punishable by extermination of friendship, unmindful of how long.

Monday, August 2, 2010



So I slept at, say, 11pm last night and wokeup at 7.30. o_O Oh the sunlight! It's burning my eyes!

Though I think I've always wanted this. A proper body clock. But now that I'm experiencing it, it just doesn't seem to be a big deal. It's not as drastic a change I thought it would be. My brain's still afloat and I'm thisclose to being half asleep.

Honestly, there's nothing to blog about. Although not having anything to blog about is not an excuse to not maintain this blog. There's been nothing to blog about for the past years but I've always managed to cook something up, so this isn't exactly any different.

Yes, I'm still wasting my time and yours by rambling on about nothing in particular.

Another reason why blogging here can be such a challenge is because I have other blogs to maintain. The happy blog and the oh-so-sentimental oh-so-secret blog. With so many blogs and so little thoughts, what else is there to write about?

So I guess I'm going back to bed and start living an hour from now. Funny, I'm stalling living my life.


Speaking of life-stalling, it's 11am and I'm still not ready to face the day. I spent the past couple of hours stretching and purring in bed, reading magazines, and wondering how better my life will be if I buy a bottle of nailpolish (the bubblegum-matrona shade, which I've grown to love) and a book. Ohh I so need a book right now.

So, babies, I'm getting off this laptop now.

Friday, July 30, 2010

oooh rain.

Pano ka naman makakalabas in this weather? It's so cold and gloomy and peaceful. I'd stay in bed all day if it won't ruin my attempts to have a normal person bio clock. Even if the road's are now wet and there's a high chance of flooding in my street, the rain's still much better from hell-weather summer.

I need a new book. Nothing too light or too dramatic.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

the homebody

Pity, I don't get to go out today. I had my nails painted plum last Sunday, and the only one who gets to see it is me. Sniff. And when I chipped a nail, I really freaked out. I think I got mad at myself for a while because of the chip.

That's how steady my life is right now, I get crazy over the tiniest things. The highest point of my week is actually learning to tie my hair in a pony tail! Haha, it's a big deal people. This is the first time in my life I've accepted how I look like with my hair tied.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Preparing for work!

So, I spent the day working on my Flash Website portfolio.

(btw, a flash website portfolio is different from your typical html-css portfolio. its around 77 times more complicated.)

Well, maybe it wont work.. yet.

Friday, July 23, 2010


Tuesday, July 20, 2010

i fixed my brow, but ended up turning my full brows into wonderful arch with bald spots on both sides!! IT'LL TAKE A MONTH TO GROW THIS. But I like the arch though. <3

btw, I can now pull my hair up to Betty Cooper pony tail! Yey!


Oh and why am I not adept at blogging in tagalog? It's not like my initial thoughts are in English.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

how sick i am and that spark thing

My cough's been on and off for 2 weeks now. Mostly on.

I've been thinking about this concept that us Manilenos call "spark". THE "spark" is pretty much any form of good chemistry between two people. I dont think it has to be all romantic. Some people just really have the spark, and some acquaintances are just plain awkward. Just saying.

Cough. Cough. Cough.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

the anti-legging movement

I will never wear leggings again!
(p.s. no promises)

But it just really makes my hips look wide, ass look flat, thighs look healthy. Sucks!
Leggings are for long legged people, and not for us "taong madlang".

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

post-Black out

WALANG KURYENTE KANINA. Trust me it was hell! I went crazy!

And top compensate, I am now charging everything that can be charged, turning my music as loud as I can, and no longer screaming at people.

Yey! <3!!!!

Friday, July 9, 2010

sick season. virus hanging

I woke up coughing my lungs out. Everyone's sick. My throat's all scrawny. Boo.

I need a drink.


Frog eats snake eats frog.


Wednesday, July 7, 2010

I didnt want to post this

but for entertainment's sake. Because I make a fool of myself to please my audience:


Hear ye hear ye lalala. I've a new bloggie. Don't mind the
untasteful title. I'm uncreative like that.

Don't get me wrong, having the happy blog does not make this lil ol' blog the emo-blog. It's still the public opinion blog. The only difference is with the happy blog, I am obligated to smile and have a dandy dandy life. And unlike this one, I will actually write about stuff about my day and the things I like, without the fear of boring the audience (or whatever's left of an audience out there).

brainlicking's limited though. Anything with a touch of negativity is banned. And I'm not actuaaaally required to write. I can just post photos of anything lying around in the net.


Around two hours ago I got in this unhealthy discussion about work and commute with the parents. I was so mad and confused I pulled a bitchfit and started ignoring them. But eventually I calmed down (plus mustered courage) and said goodnight then the world's all better again.

Honestly, it's the courage mustering part that's difficult.

Gawd, I forgot what my point is again.

Monday, July 5, 2010


I feel sick again. :( But not the sick kind where I'd rather stay in bed and sulk. I would actually appreciate sunlight today (though in Manila terms, sunlight is equivalent to harsh heat attacking and making you all grinchy.)

Maybe its from staying up too late and having different people wake you up at noon after merely 3 hours of sleep.

So as usual I'm under medication, mainly just overdosing on vitamin c, water, and stretching exercises. Oh and Solmux because my throat has turned into a phlegm factory.


Sunday, July 4, 2010

What's a beauty junkie like?

Today's Sunday and tomorrow's the start of another week of poverty. :(

Buuut I have a new dress :) It's gray and pink and oh so girly.


We all know what my biggest vice is. I'm a beauty-junkie. And if you ask me what the difference between men and women is, I'd say women are supposed to wear little makeup and men are not supposed to wear any at all!

And as with all vices, I am just waiting for an intervention, which doesn't seem to come anyway.

Friday, July 2, 2010


To be twenty three years old sounds very cute. It doesnt sound old, the way being twenty does. Maybe its because some ages just feel very much like you're being forced to move out of a phase, and some numbers are just easy to grow into. Like seventeen, and twenty three, and twelve. Now twenty just feels like all the grow-up pressure will be pushing you for 365 days.


Right now I'm just wasting my time so that it'd be three-oclock already and I can go fix my stuff and get away from being in bed all day.

I need a job. I want a job. Being idle makes me spend and sulk more.



I dont know why our generation deemed a wide forehead unfashionable. A wide forehead's beautiful! My tiny man foreheads are annoying and... tiny.

i just realized

No offense to the formspring users, but its just very sad. Its like giving the bored retards out there a chance to throw offensive remarks at you. I know its supposed to be a fun form of communicating through witty questions and that your privacy wont be invaded anyway. But just getting asked x-rated questions, despite having the freedom to not post them, will just ruin your day. You can't erase the fact that you are unfortunate enough to be some pervert's next target.


Thursday, June 24, 2010

here's a photo



Listening to: "Picture Perfect" by Tyler Hilton
Mood: Morning mood: grumpy and oily

Monday, June 21, 2010

kinda Sick

For future reference, this is how being KINDA sick feels like:

You don't like being cold because every pore in your body feels 35% more sensitive.
Your throat hurts. There'r these spots on both sides on the neck directly under the jaw.
You want to rest, but can't sleep (maybe its just me).
You detest wet hair.
You like water more than you like food.
Muscle aches. Joint aches. Ugh.


You know that hairy guy fro Accidentally on Purpose?


Nicolas Wright

Sunday, June 20, 2010

The Importance of Hair

Our hair played essential part in our college life. We use it to note an era, and it greatly dictates our mood. Bad hair = bad mood. Bad haircut = bad mood for the whole sem.

Just as I am in transition from college life to the "real world" life (the term intimidates me big time!), my hair is also in transition from playful short to girly medium... I've yet to sport the uncomfortable long yet, though my life will be easier with long hair. No maintenance.


"After-college" life is very weird. We have plans, yes, but the direction is so hazy I think we all aren't very sure of what's happening. ALTHOUGH, I am thoroughly enjoying the new-found social freedom. No more repressing thoughts, a lot lot less peer pressure, and just really a lot of free space.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

the longish hair article 1

I <3 my longish hair. You may not see it, but you will when you do.. (Even if Teta claims its not growing longer, its growing bigger.)


After a whole summer of on-off attempts at cleaning my room (part by part) I've finally done it. I finally live in a clutter free atmosphere! YIPPEEE!! And it does wonders!

Friday, June 18, 2010


I'm cleaning my closet and the tops on the lower half of my closet are subdivided as follows:

1. Comfy tops I use at home or at some other people's home or any other homey places still requiring me to look human
2. Comfy tops that I will strictly only use in the privacy of my house
3. Tops that belong to the next room
4. Tops I'd actually wear outside when I want to make a good impression (e.g. interview tops, party tops, etc)
5. Tops I barely ever wear but love anyway
6. Huge huge shirts I keep on wearing even if they make me look like a child or a lesbian
7. Tops I hate but have to own because they are mine whether I like it or not. I would love to give them away, but either my name's on the back or has sentimental value

Wednesday, June 16, 2010


I believe I have just solved one of the reasons for my anxiety. I do not watch enough TV.

And now I'm indulging in big doses of it: Everybody loves Raymond, Scrubs, Cougar Town, Accidentally on Purpose, Sex and the City, Family Guy, The Simpsons, Korean films, HBO films, and of course Filipino films. I am a resident of Fox, Star World, Cinema one, and HBO.


Guys hate Glee because its not rock. It's too theater. Like how much they prefer John Mayer over Jason Mraz... which we girls completely don't understand.

Monday, June 14, 2010

remembering The Eva piece

I remember a year ago at Cavite writers workshop, I submitted my Eva Fonda piece and the panel called it charming (hooray for me! You have no idea how diffy it is to please a panel. Or even just gain one word of appreciation.) But then again all it had was potential, the rest is a mess. My language had bad bad rhythm (it had an annoying ring to it. We hate annoying! Annoying is incurable.), and my grammar needs orientation!



My Jeje confessions:

1. I use ".." ellipses. YES, two dots!
2. I say "q" for "ko"; and "aq" for "ako". Gawd.
3. I use o_O which isn't too jeje, so I guess its fine. It's just not me, but it really fits how I express myself.
4. I miss Meteor Garden o_O


I looove waking up early. My brain feels happier and I get to do stuff I don't normally do. E.g. Clean my room, set my hair etc etc. I really should do this more often. I'd give anything to fix my insomnia. I want to be like every other normal people out there who can sleep just by closing their eyes. My daily sleeping process consists of closing my eyes and waiting for a range of 30 mins to 2 and a half hours. I am not joking!

I just love mornings! Which makes me reconsider my preference: maybe I'm actually a morning person instead of a night person.


It's 10am! :D

Cleaning a closet is very much like going to the gym. The most difficult part is learning to go. Well frankly, much of life is like going to the gym. Why is finding initiative so hard. Honestly, I'm a woman of thought, not of action. Maybe it's excess baggage of the over-thinking curse.

As we may all notice, I have turned emo before your very eyes. o_O

Friday, June 11, 2010




"It all ends badly, because if it doesn't then it wouldn't end."


I eat pan de sal with cream cheese every night. Keeps me happy and sane. :* <3

Thursday, June 10, 2010

best comedy series evers: "Friends" and "Everybody Loves Raymond"

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

important announcement


Hold on to your lovers, the breakup month is here.
The flings are ending, the serious relationships are cooling off.

The dating pool is getting populated again!

100th post

I can't believe it.. this is just my hundredth post. Well in this blog. Ive had around 4 blogs before this having the same url macci.blogspot. I just replace the whole blog every once in a while to get the feel back. Also because I dont want people seeing how much of a moron I was back then.

Ive been blogging since (believe it or not) 2004! I used not to capitalize properly!


Cheers for yours truly and this blog. What kept me writing continuously for years? I dont think Im getting any better at this, though. I mean, gambling by publicizing my thoughts? This isnt exactly helpful. But I just keep releasing tons of useless opinions every month, despite the dangers of bad grammar, being too boring or too daring, and wasting time.

I <3 you, whoever you are who reads me. <3

music reviews

If I dare be blunt, unapologetic and ignorant of just one view, I guess it's Lady Gaga's "Alejandro".

She's pushing it to the edge. It's so nude it's artsy. Though, artistry is never objective.

Point is, if there's another Noah's Arc happening its because of videos like this circulating world wide. I don't think much of it though. Im just very sorry the naked straight guys dancing, they are now tainted for life. Oh well, machoism maybe overrated anyway.


But if there is one song that is downright abnormal and unworthy of publicity, it's the "Mga tambay lang kami..." song.

1. It is very offensive to the church, as it encourages same sex relationship
2. It is also offensive to the gay community.

Although I have no business judging music through a homosexual point of view, it's a bad bad annoying song and I don't know why this downtrodden country even gave it air time.


Happy birthday to my pretty sisters <3.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Money talk. Lame version.

I am thinking about monetizing this blog. I mean I've been thinking about that since forever, because I've been blogging since I can remember anyway, might as well get paid a bit for it. I mean it wont hurt, will it? And if I do get 50php for blogging, that would be more than I ever wished since I never aimed to earn from this. And 50 pesos is pretty good (for a pauper).

I'm just a bit concerned that this might intercede with the passion for blogging (I am so lame). But whatever, I've tried to apply for AdSense a while ago and failed once, and never tried again.

I mean if I do earn, then that means people are reading my blog. And I'd get conscious and very uninteresting.
Then if I don't earn it means no one is reading me. And my heart will just break. When the blogging became such a hit with my friends, it sucked so much that they had better traffic than I did. I mean I've been in this for forever.
Theeeen, when they started claiming that I could be an earning blogger because I write amusing stuff, I just don't want to write anymore because I'm scuuurred!

I really should have cleaned my closet instead.

P.S. Hangers are the secrets to clean closets. And I do not have any. Ive been penny-pinching. I dont have hangers.
P.P.S. See, I can write about hangers and not care! This will not be possible if I monetize.
P.P.P.S. If I monetize, I can buy hangers.


LOOK! The product of good grooming and fame!
(And pretty hair concealing her big face.)
(The pretty hair dominates the photo.)

Woohboy. This blog is becoming photo frenzied.

Friday, June 4, 2010

white summer dresses

Although it's rainy season already, being in the country where its constantly hot, we are allowed to wear summer dresses all year round. (Season-apt clothes are prettier ofcourse, but leave me alone. I like things breezy.)

From refinery29, top 20 white summer dresses for summer:


Eating, growing my hair, skipping class and being poor

How's the hair-growing thing?

Well, it's good. For a while it wasn't because the weather was too hot for me to have my hair down, but now that the weather is actually much better (read: no longer hell), there's no longer much need to put my hair in a bun. I mean, yeah, it was all the rage for a while, but then all the girls started pulling their hair up that I bet it must be tiring for the men already. It's become unsexy and a sign of laziness... which is alright if its just us friend. But other people have eyes too.

HOWEVER, I am eating a lot now. Not that I am sooo happy (you know how my happiness is directly proportional to my eating habits. Long story), I just really want food a lot for the past few days. I've eaten heavy dinners, heavy lunches, and lots of diverse snacks in between.

Aaand today I spend the day at home despite having classes because the cold drizzly weather was so comfy. Yeah I felt like shit afterwards. LIKE WHY DID I WATCH FRIENDS INSTEAD OF GOING TO CLASS, but whatever. I didn't do my homework anyway.

Hello world, I'm still broke :) Donations are welcome. :)

Monday, May 31, 2010


Oh shameless.

Saturday, May 29, 2010


Plus: How can someone so hot marry someone so freaking wasted. Cry.


I am watching Velvet's 2009 Victoria's Secrets Model. They are beautiful skinny bony bitches with boobs and long hair and they are GORGEOUS!!

They look heavenly.


"I'm so hot for her, I'm so hot for her, I'm so hot for her, She's soo cooldd!


Must watch Population 436

Friday, May 28, 2010

On sleeping and the newfound freedom

It's 5am and I am still awake. My sleeping pattern is so messed up that I've decided to just let it be so messed up, that way, it's bound to go back to the before-midnight-bedtime that I've always wanted.

Btw, I can hear roosters now.


Oh and today I have realized that I can be as much of a girl I want to be because 1. I AM A GIRL 2. I am not in college anymore and there are no longer hundreds of scrutinizing eyes judging your every move. FREEDOM FREEDOM FREEDOM.



And yes I am still unemployed. No, I haven't written a short story yet. AND WE ALL KNOW THAT WE ARE ENTERING NEXT SEASON PREMISES. <3 <3

Hi beautiful world. I love you. (Though you can be a bit bitchy sometimes. Please stop scaring me.)

Thursday, May 27, 2010

summer clothes

Oh my God! I have finally figured our something I want to publicly rant about.

Ehem. Uniforms.

Once upon a time in an era so so far away, I (we) used to wear uniforms and curse them. I just wish I can showcase my creativity through beautiful layers of garments. Beato would go to irrational measures to fight for freedom fashion-wise.

And now, it sucks.

I wish I were wearing uniform. My taste for good clothes is fast declining because I'm so tired of having to choose clothes which are fashionable yet commute friendly and will not encourage perspiration. The heat sucks, the 3-hour commute sucks, and I do not have enough clothes to be creative with every single effing day!

Back then, all I had to think about is what bag I'd be using. Now, I have to think of what to wear head to toe. I can't really keep on wearing huge shirts and shorts, you know. I'm a girl! I need to wear skirts and tanks and heels sometime. Besides my dad is starting to get furious because I keep on stealing clothes from him.

Also, despite the insecurities, I am forced to wear my hair in a trying-hard bun everyday, because otherwise I will die of heatstroke. And my face looks skinnier with my hair up in tight updos. :( Especially with bangs not hiding my annoying forehead.

Let's just all pray my sisters start buying pretty clothes again. I need those!

Wednesday, May 26, 2010


I've been spending all my free time watching friends, causing all social dysfunction. Sorry friends, i love you.



24 hours and I'm still watching Friends. I have lost the ability to communicate.


I miss lolo.

So far, this blog's been sucking.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Once upon a time:

live and love is a philosophy i solemenly swear to live by. it is a no pressure semi-religion urging to appreciate life.
savor each moment and love everyone around you.

Properly vain

The facebook profile pic that didn't make it:

I would have loved this, it obviously looks better... but I am deeply bothered by the tummy bump and the fact that the dress really does that and it will not change even if I tuck my tummy mega mega.

The facebook profile pic that didn't make it #2:

The makeup looks nice, but how is this supposed to be pretty?

The facebook profile pic that didn't make it #3:

TOO PRETTY! Who is this!?!? Expectations will be too much! Besides she's sooo bony.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Heels, hell...

I purchased my first non-makeup investment today after 4 months. Hooray. They are dark beige CMG four-inch heels which turned out not to be as comfy as I thought they will be, but pretty and on sale. For that height, they are comfy actually, and very classic! Dark beige satin!

Despite the 3 out of 5 star pain, very lovely. And versatile too.


I attended a children's party today and realized how old I am and how young I was (duh). When there was no more denying that we were bored out of our wits, someone finally said "Nako. We are too old for this."

I DONT KNOW HOW WOMEN ACTUALLY LIVE ON HEELS. Seriously, gawa na ba sa kalyo ung paa nila?!?! How do they freaking do it? Seriously. Naiinggit ako. :(

and honestly, I'm not feeling the divider lines very much.

Saturday, May 15, 2010


The good thing about not showcasing your saintliness is that you never tire people with your goodness. You always surprise them with the good deeds, but bad deeds are barely recognizeable anymore.

Well, maybe this is just me discriminating the good people of the world, but to hell with it. We know I'm right about this one.

Web is starting to get diffy. But look, I just learned to do ^that^ ! Wahahaha.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

May 13

1. Found my wallet! Apparently whoever got the money just left it on the MRT floor.

2. No photos in a long time, so here. I like this. Purple lippies. AND AS YOU CAN SEE, I HAVE LONG(ish) HAIR and its just fine! even without the prerequisite weight gain:
(Pagbigyan. Haven't been too vain for the longest time.)
(Well fine, been vain enough, but I never realllyy really post it.)

3. I miss my friends. All of them. :( My college friends, my bl.ockada, my sobs, twg, xta and everyone, bryski, pauline yadayadayada. (Disclaimer: Just because you're not here does not mean I do not love you!)

4. I'm almost over saving up. Ugh. Believe me, I'm tired of not having proper lunch! The "go on and spend properly" campaign will start next week.

5. I miss TWG most, though. :( They're staying at Karl's tonight, and I'm not going. Lot of reason. Classes, money, other plans. Heck. :( I've been MIA for 2 months. I no longer have pretty words. And I haven't written anything. They will be extremely disappointed.

6. I've got classses and I haven't fixed the requirements. Argh! I dont have cs4!!

[EDIT: I look grinchy here!]

Monday, May 10, 2010

Fashion where art thou?

THE MOMENT YOU GIVE ME AN OPPORTUNITY TO DRESS UP, I WILL GO BONGGA! I've been draped in jeans, backpacks, chucks, and homey shirts and and its making me look like a skinny commuting lesbiana. I even wear ponytails for goodness sake! We all know how much pony tails hate me.

Sniff. Too short or too long dress, heels, makeup on myself and not on other people... sniff. Oversized designer bag (le mother's). Lola bangles, messy straight hair. Sniff. Cash more than a thousand bucks. AND FRIENDS! Wooooh! Gimme gimme.

A few drinks, a few semi-inappropriate remarks (i can never seem to steer clear of this), bucket of jokes regarding other people's misfortune and shortcomings, dreaming and predicting the coming decades. Yadayada.

JUST LET ME WEAR MY PRETTY CLOTHES ALREADY. They are slowly becoming outdated. So lemme!

may 10

Hello beautiful people who read my blog.

Why do you read me, really?

We must tackle the hot topic that is the automated election. Ehem. Okay, so they made us do a marketing scheme for this at school, which we did fairly well... only we haven't quite comprehended the meaning of an advertising campaign back then, and I was in a lot of social pressure. Yes these are the futile excuse.

And we said that the Automated Voting System would be Mabilis, Madali, and Maaasahan... which, my loves, didn't really apply in real life. According to ABS that is. But actual voters around me actually said that it wasn't bad at all.

Pff. Bah. What am I saying? It makes me pretty guilty, honestly... not voting. An estimated 75% of registered voters did vote. It's not like I even registered to vote.

I can tell you who I'm voting though, but even with all these explanations in my head of who my picks are and why, I still didn't vote.

Plus, I was not able to get dozen of C2 Green at the price of 10 pesos which I vowed to get since I've turned into Green Tea advocate.

Saturday, May 8, 2010


I haven't been out until dawn for 4 months now. :( My social life is dramatically suffering. And so is my weight. I need to have fun again, or else I will get mad at the world and turn crazy.


I bought my kryolan 12 shade supracolor palette, and yes, it has all shades we need, but faccck its so heavy. I can feel the weight of centimeter thick creamy makeup on my skin and its not good. My pores can't breathe!!

I also got the eyebrow plastic. It actually works. But getting it off nearly scraped off my skin!

Must be added on least comfy situations: face feeling so dry and waxy at the same time due to re-re-re-rewashing face with cold cream and facial wash. Heck.


I miss my lolo, who's been in the states for 3 months now. Funny though, he got a job faster than I did. Of course I miss him now, because I don't get to see him a lot. But once he lives in the Philippines, at a different apartment, it scares me not to have time for him. :(

Don't judge me for having a hard time dealing with him its not like you know what it's like.


Seriously, I need to detoxify!

Friday, May 7, 2010

This is scary.

Hello Automated Election.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Sayang sa pera

Things that suck.

ELF eyeliner sucks! It just tugs my skin. It's consistency is like plastic. Amp. This is what I get for scrimping.
The white one is alright though.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Get the fuck away from me!


It's 2pm and I'm restless.

Will delete tomorrow.

Oracle Bry Says

"Hindi tayo nabubuhay para magtrabaho, nagtratrabaho tayo para mabuhay"

Friday, April 30, 2010

Tomorrow's exercise:

Friday, April 23, 2010


Whatever you write or post in your facebook account is what you want to claim about yourself. It's your identity portfolio (basta ganun!) Maski anong gawin mo walang takas. Maski pag wala ka facebook, you're just proving that you're pa-different.


I need to post a photo. This blog has become all words!


Btw, still broke. I miss not having to constantly count how much I still have in my wallet. I mean I used to be reasonable in spending, I'm not exactly impulsive see, so whatever happens I still get home with a couple of bills. But right now, every peso counts, or I risk the chance of going home with only a few peso in my coin purse. Seriously.



I have a bad habit. I use ".." ellipses. Org will kill me for being so grammatically stupid, friends will kill me for being a jejemon.


Speaking of "Jejemon", since it seems to be the word of the month, here's a hard one:

Pano mo sasabihin sa kaibigan mo na jejemon siya as in ng hindi siya masasaktan? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Thursday, April 22, 2010


I suck at fashion already. I really need Geno now.

Seriously, Geno's already mythified. His talent, quirkiness, and absolute fab-ness, we can't erase it anymore. His name always comes up every now and then, then we all sigh afterwards.

Dear Geno,

Why don't you tell us where you are? Can't we just hang out in your house and watch weird films. We haven't even partied-partied yet. :( Really, it makes me sad. :( No one to toss us girls clothes that we never knew would fit us so good. Or to make me really really really scared of wearing anything fake or too 2001.

You were too generous to be true. I mean, well, we have tons of abnormally generous friends, but you're exceptional. You bring me oatmeal for the picnic days. You tell me what brit bands to listen too, foreign films to watch, magazines to read. You tell us all the stuff about how we are all pretty and talented and amazing, and we all believe you because you're pretty, talented and amazing yourself.

You embody coolness and you know it.

Or maybe we just really mythified you. How about proving us that you're human and show yourself. Makikita ka pa kaya namin? Isang quirky character ka lang ba na dumaan sa buhay naman para i-form kami into what we are today?

Maybe you're not here because you gave us your all and we weren't able to return the efforts. I'm speaking for myself when I say that I was to focused on my life and I failed in realizing that you were pleaing for something. I failed to return your sweetness and concern.

Writing this feels like a tribute to you, as if you're iconic and historical and would never come back. Where are you?

Wednesday, April 21, 2010


Due to the urging of people from different walks of life for me to start blogging again, here I am. You know who you are.


First of all, just came from Reg's. Pasta dinner and few drinks (really minimal. So minimal, I dont think the alcohol made its way past my throat. (Exag.)) I love you friends. Lovely weather. All we did was talk about movies, music, and of course politics... see, election talk is too rampant nowadays it's already trite.

Been glued on PBB Teen CLASH Edition these days. My sisters and friends are forwarding links: how this character is so bratty, and these characters look good together. I agree wholeheartedly. Not having your own life really makes reality shows so entertaining than it really is. But all in all they're just a bunch of discriminated teens with the same goal as with everyone of proving themselves. A blah but classic objective.


MOST OF ALL, I just remembered why I'm bestfriends with Bryski:

My bestfriend is the oracle! He is ermitanyo-like without the age, long beard, wooden staff, and rat-out clothing. Nonetheless, he is all-knowing and all-powerful.

THIS IS HIS FACEBOOK: Bryan Agron. He wanted exposure daw eh.

Sunday, April 18, 2010


I hate being idle at home.

I can finish my mom's corporate identity and give myself something to do, but things are just uninspiring when you're not getting paid and its from your parents.

Dear TWG, I miss you. Forgive the absence, I am broke. Not busy, just broke.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

tipid week campaign

Isang bisyo lang ang hirap na hirap ako pigilan ngayon... Ang pagggastos!
yes, i am very very very broke more than ever because of the following reasons:

1. I got a haircut (photos soon. Vain people are annoying that way)
2. I colored my hair, which is such a failure since its as darkbrown as ever
3. I am very unemployed (freelance design works are welcome)
4. Out of town yadayadas

Therefore, the only way I can meet my friends now is if someone sponsors my public transportation fare. I will gladly bring my own baon: water and chips. Wtf!

Because of poverty, Aiwa got me to eat overpriced karekare (which actually tasted tolerable, bordering on 'nice') (Thank you lover, you're an angel). GAWWD! It's such an ironic middle class crisis.


My brain is on cosmetic frenzy. I've been eyeing Suesh brush sets, Stippling brushes, corrector kits,cream eyeshadows, and all that jazz! But i cant even afford normal lipgloss!

Although, I did get an elf duo eyeshadow cream (c/o the mother) then lost it prior useage. OH HELL! This happened with the last one too! Feels very aggravatingly annoying.

And yes I'm boring the brain slushies off your skull.


So there, a week or three of luxury abstinence. Wish me all the luck.. Pretty please. ΓΌ


Wednesday, April 7, 2010

My dad taught me the great value of lateness. In our household, 12 nn means 1.30 at the earliest. So it's great effort for me to break from this consistent tradition of unpunctuality. But atleast I'm trying (in vain).

Monday, April 5, 2010


Frankly, I can't afford anything right now. I can't get my hair colored, I can't buy a magazine, I can't have tacky signature coffee. I'm thinking about all the saving tactics possible, but I really want stuff!


I'm in a very pessimistic mood tonight.
It's doubt doubt doubt.

Everyone wants to be a model, photographer, makeup artist. It's like everyone is lured by the fleeting pleasure that is lux. Let's see, how do I grow up?

Oh, the things I want to be.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010


1. How does one... not spend?
Blew my last 1k on a makeup train case today, which turns out is too small. :( But it sheltered 60=75% of my cosmetic collection, exclusive of skin care and skin prepping and back-ups, daily, and set makeups. But you get what I mean. (Of course, you don't).

But it's actually bargain, some people sell this for 3k. And this one is sold for 1,1 because of unnoticeable dent. Personally, I HAVE NOT FOUND THE DENT YET, and it's been hours of staring at it already.

2. What is and what is not beauty:

Not beauty:


This is personalized, piece per piece customized to love my skin. <3

I CAN'T WAIT TO GET IN MAKE-UP SCHOOL. My parents will kill me when they find out how much they have to spend though... but oh well, all's this for the future. :D <3

Sunday, March 28, 2010


Morning loves.

1. Yours truly is at the moment lying in bed and blogging through her phone. Woohooey! Sigh, oh loverly bliss.

2. Am officially a grauate (along with 400 others. See you in the real world bitches!).

3. I belive i took the earth hour to the next level. Celebrated 24 hours of non-electricity in some beach not so exaggeratedly far away. I did not get the bonfire I so annoyingly nagged for, but me believes I actually got something better: improvision! Candle semi-buried in the sand.. Pretty pretty. Of course you wouldn't know, because you weren't there!!! Hihiharharho.

4. Must be off now and drag my self to places I should be in. Here's a cookie now. Mwah.

Friday, March 26, 2010

thank you

Dear Parents

I know this isn't much. What's a mere diploma? No awards, no nada. And for all the understanding, push, and expensive tuition... you deserve more than that.

I'm happy to say, I've been a fine girl anyway. Not a fine young laady... but a fine normal girl, with amazing make-up and layout skills to boot.

Point is, I love you. And you deserve the best girl I can be.


Jenni. (ugh. eew)

p.s. Thank you for the ph-ph-phone!

Wednesday, March 24, 2010


I think I need a drink.

I haven't needed a drink for months now... But right now, I think I need one.

There are reasons why vices formulated themselves. To add sorrow to already sad situations. Yes, this is my form of emo-ing.

I do my bestest not to pollute this blog with useless emo-ness, because: 1. Emo-ness is so kadirdir. 2. My dear readers are expecting happy petty blog entries about haircuts, nailpolish, and annoying people. 3. Emo-ness is very intimate, and really, I don't write down intimate thoughts in such a public blog. That will be pitiful and annoying.

But here I am, not disclosing any reason for this strange rant.

I'm just scared I'll end up alone. That's pretty much it actually. Ano ba. Ako nalang natitira, I used not to mind, but its getting to me right now. What is my problem? Why can't I just give these guys a chance? Isang mali lang, ayaw ko na agad. Katangahan ba un? Ang tanga ba? Talaga bang mag-iisa na ko??

Sunday, March 21, 2010

facebook tells truth

So here are my 5 closest facebook friends. I don't know how facebook can possibly know this since some of these girls rarely go online.. but look! It's almost perfect (except for it showed durrd instead of ji. But everyone can figure out the relation, duh.)

Aww. My girls.


So, my mom got these not so pretty pair of muddy-brown flats. I don't really wear flats. My soles are not fashionably experimental. I use chucks with everything.

The flats aren't that pretty. But they're Nine West and they hug my toes just right. And they go with pretty much everything. Ooohh mmyyy... T_T. They aren't pretty, but they are extremely convenient. Shift from the boyish too-casual sneakers to pretty-decent girl-girl just as comfy flats.

They are still not pretty enough, despite the irrational pricing.


Sunday, March 14, 2010

picture perfect

I can't help it. Sometimes I'm just in love with my friends (albeit they are in love with each other. Pf. Patulan galore. <3 ). Nic has this album saved as last dat of school ever ever... it sent me chills. There's even a bit of hesitation saving it.

Pfff tsss...

What's gonna happen now?

Saturday, March 13, 2010

I hate Mandy Moore's freaking smirk.

I hate Mandy Moore's freaking smirk.

And the fake fake soft voice. Fine... the pasty pale skin look, I buy. But the "Excuse me" voice... C'MON! Uggh!! It embodies all the fakey-ness I hate.

NONETHELESS, when I decided to finally watch the movie, my head was decided "their is no way a chic flick can make me cry. Over my dead body."

As always, because of lack of discipline, I spent two-thirds of the movie crying my eyes out, wailing out loud, and I REALLY finished a pack of Kleenex. Ow May Gawd!


Cry cry cry cry cry.

How can something so trite cause ample amount of emotional damage?! How how how?? And this, my friends, is an example of how to make the stereotypes work.

Friday, March 12, 2010

nail polish

Bright beige and rich pastel sky blue (oxymoronic as it sounds, it exists!) are the only nail polish shades worthy of gracing my finger nails. Oh and also the faceshop's late strawberry red introdruced to me by miss

I tried to save today. Gawd, did I fail!

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Shakespeare in love

As it turns out, I am in love with medieval movies. I am a devout of the past. My favorites are Interview with the Vampire, Marie Antoinette, Shakespeare in love, Shakespeare in love and Shakespeare in love.

I watched this when I was around 12 years old? 15 years old? AND I WAS SMITTEN. MM<<

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

You keep in waiting for life to unfold before you, when you should be chasing after it.

You keep in waiting for life to unfold before you, when you should be chasing after it.


things to do:

Watch JP's DVD
Drink milk
Submit Thesis DVD
Paint nails
Find make-up school

Be perfect.

I love you, Macc.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010


This is the closest I've gone to the much sought-after ballerina bun mess.

Monday, March 8, 2010

bones bones bones

So, I'm trying to gain weight, right? I'm almost sharp edges all over. Every bone that can pop just pops pops pops. But I can't seem to follow the major rule of gaining weight: EATING.


ATLEAST I finally found the perfect white sundress. :) :) :) smile smile <3

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

today i shall:

1. write
2. compo plate
3. re-think cgd finals. my finals sucks... so very much.
4. get out of the house by all means

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

the brain

Really, I wonder what it is about blues I love best.

Also I wonder why I always hesitate claiming myself to be anything I really am. Maybe because I'm not sure.

It's like calling yourself a writer. TWG never claims their selves as writers even if, DUH, they freaking are.

Too many ideas in my brain is killing me.

Nacario says I have to file them. It's the first actual (almost) appropriate advise I got from a human being. It's always 'mac, you think too much' or 'mac, you have cluttered brain. So cluttered I therefore conclude you insane'. Only thing is, how do you file thoughts and ideas. It's like do you have a box in your brain.. better yet a file drawer and you tuck the thoughts in folders. Can you even lock this drawer?


Monday, March 1, 2010

this actually sounds substantial ; rant


Mornings are always full of sunshine, contrary to evenings which are always murky. And abnormally emo.

Yesterday, I can remember Luday saying something of the context: "Really, if you want something bad enough, you can actually get it. Kaya nga nagsisikap e." And that being me and Louieee talking, we all know that it must be in reference to something petty.

One of the things I think I've acquired over the past year/s is I now give up too easily. Life is predictable. Really, I was a slave of thought that the coincidences constitute a much bigger factor than one's action. Like, you can't make your life... the world does it for you. It's all about luck.

But really, looking back, I made my life. And the high times are really stupid. If I were my 14 year old self however, I'd say I am very much accomplished. But I'm 19 now (20). I have to dream of something bigger. Something better to prove.

Mornings are always full of hope. When night comes around and we realize that we haven't accomplished as much as we hoped.... we sulk. Okay fine, I sulk.


BTW, I fucking freaking hate it when people act like they are freaking almighty.

Friday, February 26, 2010

things I want

1. I want this ballerina bun:

2. I want to effectiively wake up at 10am every freaking fucking day

3. I want 8 more pounds.


5. I want Little Manhattan soundtrack

6. I want to attend Backstreet Boy concert

7. I want an uno. :( (INSERT INFINTE SAD FACES HERE)

8. I want to write a 25-page

9. I want the perfect beige/red/sky teal manicure. No french tips please.

10. The beach!

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Possibly the final to do list of my academic life

Esthetic Paper - Art versus Morality
TXD - Prelims: Conventional, Abstract, Geometric, Realistic
Thesis- Exec. Summary
Compo - (pre: Studies) Freestyle Compo Piece
CGD - 3ds max - exer: Walkthrough, Robot, Array, Finals

Then what next?

Monday, February 22, 2010


Life would be better if I wake up at 8-10am everyday. :)

Sunday, February 21, 2010

I do Love

Masunog na buhok ko kaka plantsa at kaka kulot... I <3!

Saturday, February 20, 2010


Everytime I see that my room is freakin fucking tribute to messes of all messes mess mess mess mess... I sit down and justify it. Atleast every inch is covered with everything that defines me: magazines, books, clothes, makeup, shades, notebooks, tons and tons and tons of memories. Then I feel so much better.

Friday, February 19, 2010

morning comes late

I would have wanted bacon, scrambled eggs, orange juice and some fruits for breakfast. But the luxury of 7-8 hours of sleep just derives you from that. It's one or the other, I believe.

I am losing weight.

You know that theory about my weight being directly proportion to my happiness... I must be ver ver sad these days. But I do not have anything on my mind anyway... Maybe it's the Lolo issue. How I'm worried about him and all.

Nah. I'm beyond serious matters. It's the trivial things that makes me.

Anyway, toodalooh... Imma clean up this dark gloomy chamber I call my room.

Thursday, February 18, 2010


Quarter Past Five

Repulsed by the putrid
flavor of time wasted He droops
in bed, lashes glued on his lids
Cocooned by sheets Mastering the futile
art of turning and tossing Twisting
to find the perfect mold Time
is the universal currency It is dripping
away Mind racing around the web
of thoughts Biology ceasing to be in accord
with will The chronic disorder dulls
his skin Swells his eyes Dulls
his tomorrow The sun spills
on the corner of his bed He rises
because sleep fails again

Monday, February 15, 2010


Since my thesis is effectively over, I'm back to tackle another set of important matters.

1. =
I think my heart just droppped on to the floor.

That's the pilay guy from Glee, and how he look like in REAL life. Ooohlala. <3

Download "Dancing With Myself" by Glee Cast.

2. versus

So it's Artie of Glee, with the heart of gold and bucket of insecurities versus Howard Wallowitz of Big Bang, with his manwhore confidence and evil schemes.
thesis is done and over with. sing it with me 10x. lalalala. Hello proper sleep!


Sunday, February 7, 2010

words words words

from jacob's

Friday, January 29, 2010

Kindle will be dead to the world

I will not buy all these crap. This totally de-mythify books. Books are immortal. These gadgets will never be. Nevuuuhh!

Or maybe I will, actually. iPad, no matter how awkward it sounds, looks so gadget preeettyy. <3

Wtf. Will love my macbook muna. <3 Love love love.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010


It was my lola's burial at around 11am this morning. My lolo delivered the most touching, heartbreaking eulogy I have ever encountered. My dad had no words. The day was full of I love yous more than goodbyes.

I wish I could share with you the brief words my lolo said.

I am very hesitant about blogging this kasi ang OA na. Ang OA ko na. I don't want to act like I'm okay anymore, because in the end, umiiyak lang din ako. In RG/Mon's words: "Okay lang umiyak."

And besides, I want to acknowledge my love for you in all possible ways.

Lola Erly, my lola's only left sibling was with me when they were lowering my lola's coffin and we uttered the same word simultaneously amid tears. "lola/vicky, i love you".

Did you know that all the posh bags you see me toting around school has never been of my own selection. My lola had great taste.

Eulogy: (I only read the half part.)

There is no single memory that comes to mind when I think of Lola Vicky. Nor a single characteristic.

It's a jumble of descriptions and recalls.

She's the only one who can make lolo behave and sit down (albeit, he'd still be shuffling and fidgeting.) She likes jewelry and is a woman of good taste. She shops in bulk. She likes red lipstick. She taught me how to make grilled cheese. She's got a little high pitched girly voice. She likes pink, and one time in 200.... i can't remember, we spent the whole day shopping and she got me everything in pink (despite my tendency to hate baby pink). She is extremely organized and (inhumanely) sentimental, keeping tidbits from everywhere she went to and every high moment of her life. Every.

She wouldn't let Papa go to EDSA revolution when he was my age. He still went to EDSA. And when he got home, he never heard the end of it.

My other recollections of her are those of when I was too little to actually appreciate, but no one can blame anyone for being a kid.

(but oddly, I can still remember. Possibly twelve years ago, she made this mean fried chicken, which I labeled in my mind the meanest fried chicken in the world, but she had to go back to the states. Years and years after, and many other meanest fried chicken in the world has passed, she never cooked for me again, I don't really know why.)

I don't know where she got all her love for us from. Is it from the three-minute a week conversation, the thought of little girls playing when she gets us barbies and chips ahoys, or maybe just the fact that we are her grandchildren... and we all know how grandparents are, by law of nature, in love with their grandchildren.

For a week (until present, maybe), I don't believe my mind actually comprehended that my lola has passed away.
a. She's going to get a unit at mezza with my lolo and live off the yeasre and years worth of US Citizen benefits they worked hard for.
b. We've yet to conquer the world of Divisoria together.

(Why can't you just be a BIT sick. Something like myself and my back problem, or lolo and his diabetes, of my sister's incurable succumbing to pretty clothes.)

Yes, I have to be contented with 20 years of knowing her and merely several years of actually getting to know her. (So, sorry I'm complaining.) ( But where did "everything will be fine" go?)

Lola Vicky is a beautiful woman, inside and out. She is humble and sweet. And she loved all of us dearly. That we have lost her, their must be a reason, but all that matters is we loved her very much. She enjoyed her 64 years (despite wanting to have done more) with her family and friends.

Thank you for being a wonderful part of my life all these years.

Lola Vicky will always be in our hearts as we are in hers.

Sunday, January 24, 2010


Original macci.blogspot can be found here


Girlsies Version 2!